Listening to Midlife

by Mark Gerzon

“In the second half of life, our old compasses no longer work. The magnetic fields alter. The new compass we need cannot be held in our hand, only in our heart. We read it not with our mind alone, but with our soul. … The standard maps of “growing up” and “growing old” will not serve us well. Using the best information available, each of us must find his own way.”

This five-star book offers wisdom and clarity to anyone attempting to make sense of the journey through midlife transition. It is great for men because it is written by a man who has also experienced these changes, but the wisdom is absolutely for women as well. If you are looking for answers, explanations and options, then it delivers that and more.

Gerzon is well-read and engaging writer, who says exactly what anyone experiencing midlife changes needs to hear: you’re not alone and it is OK to feel lost! He refers to the problems that are generated by our western culture in not providing models or rituals for aging proudly, elegantly and with respect.

His critique of our culture is accurate and scathing. Somehow we have allowed aging to become a “disease” or something to be feared and fought against. Our fear of aging is a really form of self-hatred and denial; after all, what is the alternative to growing older? We either get old or we die! They are our only choices. Our youth-obsessed society keeps sending us messages that growing old is about becoming disenfranchised, useless and ugly.

Gerzon provides an insightful examination of our physical body, marriage, work, aging, our planet and spirituality and reassures us that aging has magnificent meaning. He encourages us to adjust our thinking to view a midlife transition as a natural opportunity for personal growth rather than as a crisis. With this approach, the “private, lonely and often unchartered journey” through midlife becomes a time for healing our life wounds, acknowledging our shadow, seeking our soul mate and committing ourselves to a true calling; with respect for the aging process and our elders.

I agree that midlife is an opportunity for transformation, for facing the shadows of our personality, for paying attention to our disillusions and for acting on our dreams.  Gerzon offers a reassuring perspective and myriad of ways to get grounded and find your own path through the better half of life with joy.

Reviewed by Janeen Sonsie